fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Randomize
