I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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