Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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