I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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