You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
