My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
COCAINE IS GR8
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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