even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
