The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
