onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
