is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
