I think my vagina is haunted
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
