i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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