6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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