The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
