apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
