she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
