the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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