just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
