FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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