..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
