so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
