She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
