i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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