OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
