just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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