she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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