4 words: hood of his car
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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