yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
