; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
