Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
