So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
