how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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