I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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