Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
