Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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