I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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