It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
