Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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