If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This is the high leading the old right now
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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