yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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