he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
