Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
