Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
