can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
