At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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