No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
