Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
