theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
we should paint friendship bongs
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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