Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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