my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
