as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
