whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
