Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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