i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
